Friday, December 11, 2009

"They shoot single people, don't they?"

Perhaps I've been watching way to much Sex and the City but, it seems like my single status has come around to slap me in the face these days. And I do believe it's slapping other people in the face as well, but ironically more men than women. I had a conversation with my best friend last night that made me realize just how single I really am. We were discussing our plans for New Years and she told me that she her boyfriend and two other couples had already made dinner plans for the evening. She followed that with, "if I were you, I wouldn't want to go out with all those couples" and other things like, "what? you didn't expect me to spend New Years without my boyfriend?" and "you should bring Evan (my ex boyfriend)." It was as though I needed a date to go to dinner with a group of people who were my friends. I wasn't mad that I'd be the only single one there, I was pissed because she made me feel as though the only way I could go, was if I had a date.

And it was at that moment when I realized: I. Am. Single. And I mean really single.

After my realization, I had a boatload of people talking to me about how single they are, or how unhappy they are in their relationship, how lonely they are, and how much they want their partner back. And let me remind you, these are all men who were saying these things. At one point, I was talking to about 6 men at the same time....all about the same things. One had come home to find his long-time girlfriend was sleeping with someone else (he walked in on her) another had cheated on his girl and now was going through the grieving process. Another man wants his ex back though she slept with his best friend and he cheated on her...more than once. Oh, did I mention that he's in love with a girl who lives down south? And lastly a man I've known for years told me, "you'll always have me..." remind you, he has a girlfriend and doesn't know how to break up with her. And though it was nice hearing that from someone, I didn't know how to respond.

So, with all these men asking for advice and complaining about how they want the ex back or how to make her the ex, I had forgotten that I'm not the only single person in the world. And though most of these men are experiencing newly single status we all go through hurt. We all go through wanting someone back, and swearing off love forever.

2 comments:

  1. Mandy,

    It's Alex Ramsey. This post is definely a proclimation of my own beliefs so please take with a grain of salt. To be single or not to be single? This timeless parabol that has left many with wet pillows, is a mere mirror of our own thoughts of ourselves. The desire to be loved rests on the shoulders of our dependency of others to satisfy voids present in our souls. The grey area of how we see ourselves in dim light is a reflection of our inadequices. With the concious of a needy man, one cannot crystallize the importance in which makes us all happy. We glance at its statue with no results. Only when we stop to study our emotions and embrace these feelings can we overcome dependency on others. New Years day, though an important date on a calendar, is biologically the same as today. The reason that its zeal chokes out a "normal" day lays within our own conciousness. To be alert to this will put in perspective the "to be loved" is to love Self first. You will then realize that your love is unique and is not manifactured by what others opinions. Be fresh and develop kid. Have a great day.

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  2. I heard somewhere that we all have impossible desires that need fulfilled. An itch that can never truly be scratched. Some people try to fix it with religion while others look to their spouse. When one focuses on emotion, one may not see the big picture. It's like an oil-painting; when you're too close all you see are random brush-strokes you need to step back to see the work of art that is life. I'm not the best person to talk to about being single. I've been in a wonderful relationship for the last 8 years. I can tell you that if someone you're with won't let you be you then you'll never be happy. Happiness and freedom are often dependent on one another. I think Alex, with his many spelling errors, had a good idea. If you compare our posts you'll see some parallels. I, however, wish to express that, I feel love is more of a philosophy of how we treat each other and wish to be treated in return. It should be based on trust that is nurtured with time and experience.

    It seems bad to me that you should be singled out for being a "single". Societal pressure will always be there though. It's an "all-pervasive suffering" as a Buddhist would put it. It's best just to realize it as it is and keep it in its proper context.

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