"Writing isn't lifeless. It's the expression of our souls on paper." -Unknown

So, I'm feeling quite lazy today. Perhaps it's the weather that Ohio is finally seeing or that I've finally got a day off from work; either way I've decided to do a blog dedicated entirely to some of my favorite quotes...

"A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking." -Unknown

"Feelings aren't meant to be logical." -Unknown

"I believe that people come in and out of our lives for reasons; and so maybe, she came back for all the wrong ones and he left for all the right ones." -Me

"I've been thinking a lot lately about taking chances. And how it's really just about overcoming your fears. Because the truth is, every time you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you're always glad you took it." -Scrubs.

"I will have poetry in my life. And adventure. And love. Love above all..no...not the artful postures of love, not playful and poetical games of love for the amusement of an evening, but love that..over-throws life. Unbiddable, ungovernable-like a riot in the heart, and nothing to be donee, come ruin or rapture. Love-like there has never been in a play." -Shakespeare In Love

"The thing about "starting over" is that you can't really ever do it. And as much as you might way to say "lets forget the past", you can't and you won't. We relive the past each day, even if we don't want to, we do. So personally, from my own experiences, "starting over" never works and is usually a complete waste of time and energy; but don't blur it all out because it helped you become who you are." -Me

"The course of true love never did run smooth." -William Shakespeare

"The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance." -Socrates

"Reality is the only obstacle to true happiness." -Unknown

"You cannot escape responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today." -Abe Lincoln

"Sometimes we put up walls, not to keep people out...but to see who cares enough to break them down." -Unknown

"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." -Mark Twain

"If only closed minds had cloths mouths." -Unknown

"Life is an experiment sometimes, it forces you to do things that you wouldn't normally do."

-Robert Trogdon

"Beneath every cynic, there is a frustrated romantic." -Unknown

"In a friend, you find a second self." -Isabelle Norton

"Ultimately home is not a place, it's a state of feeling, a state of mind, a proper relationship to a world."

-Robert Penn Warren

"Thank you for not seeing me as a man, but as a friend who is one." -Michael Oryszak

"In order to find out who you are, you must look within yourself." -Me

"Don't let your dreams be dreams." -Jack Johnson

"We're meant to lose people we love , how else would we know how much they meant to us?"

-The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

"What our past is, is who we are. You can't reach it, but isn't it with us each day?"

-Robert Trogdon

"Language is an extraordinary thing. It is more extraordinary than any nuclear weapon. You can do anything with it." -Edna O'brein

"Be polite to all, but intimate with few." -Thomas Jefferson

"I wore black because I liked it. ...I still do, and wearing it still means something to me. It's still my symbol of rebellion-against a stagnant status quo, against our hypocritical house of God, against people whose minds are closed to others' ideas."

-Johnny Cash

"Perfectly lonely."

I swear, just when you're not looking someone a pile of men (or women), come rushing in. I suppose the saying is true, "when you're not looking, you'll find someone." Who ever came up with that saying anyway? Though I've found it to be true, I'm not quite sure I'm even ready to find that someone who may be looking for me or love in general. I have become so comfortable with my solitude that I'm almost scared to let go of it. It took me quite some time to get to where I am, that losing it would almost be like breaking up with myself. Perhaps I haven't encountered the right person just yet? Needless to say, this saying of, "you'll find someone when you're not looking" slapped me in the as of late.

I've been chatting with his man on the phone for about a week and a half now. And I'm not quite sure what to make the of the situation. He seems nice, friendly, easy to talk to, open-minded. But the minor flaw that is driving me insane is that he is way too available-if that's possible? And he is very forward to the point that it makes me nervous and second guess his "niceness." And usually I would let this kind of stuff work itself out, but I can't. I've told him that a major turn off is when a man comes on too strong-you'd think he'd get the hint! It is obvious what he is looking for, a relationship. And it's not that I'm not looking or wanting the same thing, but as I stated above, I'm not sure if I'm really ready for all that agin. Or is it that I'm ready for a relationship and ready to break up with myself, but just not for this guy?

Is this a problem? Not the man, but me. I am so comfortable being alone that I'm somewhat happy that my roommates moved out. I love coming home knowing there is no one here. I love waking up in the morning and taking a shower with the door open-if i so please. Or coming from work and being able to take off my shoes, jacket, and everything else at the door and just leaving them there. Now, perhaps I'm looking to far into this, but is this a problem? I'm finally found myself to be an independent woman who enjoys her solitude and would rather have a date with a glass of wine and a good magazine than a glass of wine and a good looking man.

According to John Mayer it is okay to be, "Perfectly Lonely" and I am just that!

"They shoot single people, don't they?"

Perhaps I've been watching way to much Sex and the City but, it seems like my single status has come around to slap me in the face these days. And I do believe it's slapping other people in the face as well, but ironically more men than women. I had a conversation with my best friend last night that made me realize just how single I really am. We were discussing our plans for New Years and she told me that she her boyfriend and two other couples had already made dinner plans for the evening. She followed that with, "if I were you, I wouldn't want to go out with all those couples" and other things like, "what? you didn't expect me to spend New Years without my boyfriend?" and "you should bring Evan (my ex boyfriend)." It was as though I needed a date to go to dinner with a group of people who were my friends. I wasn't mad that I'd be the only single one there, I was pissed because she made me feel as though the only way I could go, was if I had a date.

And it was at that moment when I realized: I. Am. Single. And I mean really single.

After my realization, I had a boatload of people talking to me about how single they are, or how unhappy they are in their relationship, how lonely they are, and how much they want their partner back. And let me remind you, these are all men who were saying these things. At one point, I was talking to about 6 men at the same time....all about the same things. One had come home to find his long-time girlfriend was sleeping with someone else (he walked in on her) another had cheated on his girl and now was going through the grieving process. Another man wants his ex back though she slept with his best friend and he cheated on her...more than once. Oh, did I mention that he's in love with a girl who lives down south? And lastly a man I've known for years told me, "you'll always have me..." remind you, he has a girlfriend and doesn't know how to break up with her. And though it was nice hearing that from someone, I didn't know how to respond.

So, with all these men asking for advice and complaining about how they want the ex back or how to make her the ex, I had forgotten that I'm not the only single person in the world. And though most of these men are experiencing newly single status we all go through hurt. We all go through wanting someone back, and swearing off love forever.

Life, as I see it today.

Seeing that this is my first blog entry and my college life is coming to an end it only seems appropriate to write about my college experience. So I will provide to you what I've learned throughout the past four and half years. Let me give you the back story before I jump into my list of things that I've learned, not only about myself, but life in general.

When I was a senior in high school-which seemed like decades ago-my father told me, "Mandy, maybe college isn't for you" followed with, "college isn't for everyone ya know!" Hearing this come from my biggest supporter hit me harder than it would coming from anyone else. What didn't help the situation even further was that my brother was on the verge of failing out of college his freshmen year. He found that partying and skipping class was way more entertaining and exciting that actually attending class and doing the work. So, not only did I have my father barking in my ear about how college isn't for everyone, he was also assuming I'd follow in the steps of my brother.

So now four and half years later, I've proved him wrong. I proved myself wrong as well. Going into freshmen year I had no idea what to expect, terrified of gaining the "freshmen 15", and would make absolutely no friends.

Well, what I learned was this:

I learned that the key to graduating was going to class.

I learned that making friends is a lot easier than I expected.

I learned that people will surprise you, in good and bad ways.

I learned that your best friend will betray you.

I learned that living with your best friend will ruin a friendship.

I learned that sleep was no longer a priority.

I learned that coffee was something I'd come to depend on.

I learned that cheap beer will give you just as good a buzz as expensive beer.

I learned what the "walk of shame: meant--though i never did it.

I learned what it was like to be in an unhappy relationship.

I learned that procrastination was a habit I should kick--only recently did I figure this out.

I learned that with losing a good friend, you gain an even better one.

I learned to embrace loneliness.

I learned that scheduling classes at 9am was too early and 5pm was too late.

I learned to appreciate the little things--such as a dishwasher and a washer/dryer

I learned to manage money.

I learned how to spend money stupidly.

I learned that I could have probably lived without a credit card.

I learned to live on my own.

I learned that professors will be more understanding than you think.

I learned to put myself out there, whata have to lose?

I learned that going out and getting drunk isn't as fun as staying in and having "roomie night."

I learned to eat on the fly.

I learned to take home leftovers from mom and dads house.

I learned to ask the questions that people don't like to ask.

I learned to speak my mind, but in a respectful way.

I learned that life isn't easy.

I know this is a wide rage of things. But they're all things that I've encountered and that have changed me and help shape who I am today... just nine days away from graduation.