a simple love letter

I remember what it felt like when I went on my first date with you. How nervous I was, how many different outfits I tried on before you got there; and how my heart pounded and felt as though it was going to burst out of my chest when you leaned across the car to hug for the first time. I wrapped my arms around you chest and took in the scent of your cologne--a sweet soft smell, almost powdery; and how my palms were sweaty from the nervousness on the car ride to dinner. And I remember the look you gave me from across the table as I was telling you a pointless story, something to just make conversation. It is unexplainable really, it was as though you could see inside me and instantly you became apart of my heart.

I can't tell you exactly when I fell in love with you. Maybe after our trip to Raleigh, or the long weekend we spent together while my roommate was away. It could have been the time you drove down in a huge snowstorm to stay with me for the night. Or Valentines day when I had a home made card with my name on waiting for me. Regardless of when, I fell in love, quickly and hard. And as time progressed we became more comfortable with each other, laughed a little more, cried some, had drunken nights and hungover mornings together and adored each other for who we really were--are.

So what happens when all that seems to stop? And I find myself at across roads, we find ourselves at a cross roads? When did the crazy love passion and romance fade? And since it faded where did it go? Is it just in hiding and will reappear shortly? Or is it gone for good? This is like a nightmare coming to life, if only the Boogie man would shoo this nightmare off and scare me with something else. How can we get back the Ican'tlivewithoutyou,socrazyinlove,can'tkeepmyhandsoffyoufeeling back? Okay, so perhaps the "honeymoon stage" can't fully show it's face again, but that doesn't mean the romance and passion have to go...does it?

Maybe we could stop letting the TV do all the talking and talk to each other? Or instead of laying around all Saturday afternoon we take the dogs for a walk? Or i could make you the chocolate-covered pretzels you like, and you could leave me love notes? Or I could draw you a silly picture of you and I, and you could pick me a flower from the garden. Or we could just sit and talk to each other; talk about our dreams--maybe take a vacation in our minds? We could even go to the park and play on the swings like we were kids again on the playground at Northwood. We could walk down to the market, hand-in-hand and I'll buy a cupcake and you can get something to make for dinner. We could go to the bar, get silly drunk, and watch the Browns lose; you can yell at the TV screen and I can support you doing it. We could even take that hike I won't shut up about, or lay in the hammock in your back yard and share secrets. Or we could simply say "I love you" a lot more than we do.

I suppose the point I'm making is that though the romance has faded and our passion is slowly going with it, it doesn't mean it has to be the end. Maybe it's the end of the rough road and the beginning of the new path? And maybe romance really does fade if you let it; and the only way to get back the nervousness, sweaty palms, heart pounding, falling in love feeling is for us to simply, try.